F. McKay Johnson

Legally Enforceable Puns

I think its fun (=nerd) to look for typos in legal databases. What else are they really good for?

• "The husband's estate received a martial deduction." PA Bank & Trust Co. v. US. It must have been the estate of Chuck Norris.
  

• "unclear hands" City of Reno v. Nevada First Thrift. There is also a rule against translucent hands. . .
  

• "a patter of behavior" Chun v. NY. What, no pitter?

• "He clamed Banker called him on the night in question." State v. Martinez. There's something fishy about that.
  

• "probate of the decadents will" Lefkowitz v. Bank of New York. By coincidence, the word "taste" in Spanish can be translated as "probar."
  

• "He contests the members hip" Gibson v. Babbitt. The membership's connected to the knee bone.

• "by warranty dead." Jackson v. United States Postal Service. This is the opposite of a living will.

• "the fist element." Home Health Care Affil. V. North American Indem. Also look out for the second and turd elements.
  

• "the implied convent of good faith and fair dealing." Horn v. Provident Life & Acc. Ins. Co. Sounds impliedly religious.
  

• "he singed the document." US v. Melendez Santiago. And technically, singing a document (much like signing one) could be legally significant if intended as an identifying mark.
  

• "[the defendant] could not be liable to the Owners for beach of contract." HUD Cienega Gardens v. US. Otherwise, damages would be measured in star fish and cigarette butts.
  

• "The revised promissory not was never presented." DeClaire v. G & B MCINTOSH FAMILY LTD. This one can be read either as a typo on note, or as a really awesome double negative.
  

• "a communication with tis attorney waived his attorney-client privilege." US v. Jackson. Spell Check: tis a dangerous thing.
  

• "The maximum penalty here under the new federal statue would be a maximum of $786 million." In Re Valdez. Beware the pigeon poo.

• Fictitious payee checks are not to be deemed payable to bear unless the signer thereof is aware of the fraud. Edgington v. Security-First National Bank. I can haz commercial paper?

• "The state court authorized the receiver to mange the partnership." In re StatePark Building Group, Ltd. Gross, mange is a skin parasite.
  

• "Plaintiff is barred by the principles of red judicata." George v. McClure. Hey, let's replace all the latin with basic colors.

• "An Ohio law establishing an early fling deadline for independent candidates." Citizens for Legislative Choice v. Miller. Sounds scandalous.
  

• "The defendant is entitled to a trail by jury." Petersen v. Vallenzano. However, the trail need not be paved.
  

Estate Planning CLE

Here are some of the Presenters:
Randy M. Lish presented on a few topics. Plus he went to school with my boss.
Ariane H. Dansie also presented twice. And this is the second lawyer I've drawn from Durham Jones & Pinegar, since I also drew an adjunct professor from DJP.

John A. Snow presented on Ethics, and he has all the rules memorized. So I'm sure he'd appreciate this one.

My Kind of Deadline

"No later than January 1, 20100."

Aaron R. Harris, J.D.

Aaron's an associate at the firm I work for. Here he is asking for a bench warrant on an opposing party that failed to appear. As soon as the judge agreed, opposing counsel came walking in. Those bench warrants work quick!

CLE

Ha. This is just like law school.

Red Tape and Hoops (on fire)

The Utah Bar uses this little image for its "Member Services." I knew that the Bar makes people jump through all sorts of hoops. But this particular hoop appears to be on fire. I think it's a picture of me submitting a second copy of my UT driver's record thanks to the "we have too many rules to write them all down" incident. So, is this a rare example of bureaucratic humor? Albeit very dark, acerbic humor, and at my expense.